
A beginner's guide to freelancing- a wonderful guide to what every aspiring freelancer should know
Funny lines
Insults - they just don't make them as they used to
from bash.org
Ben174: fuckin paypal.. they need new databases or something.. seems like every other day i get an email and have to go update my account information.
from bash.org
<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with
Kazaa w hen the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
* Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts
downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
from bash.org
<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type,
which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
from Worlds worst hacker. IRC transcript
The comments are not mine, they belong to the original poster of the dialogue.
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can't you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you're stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and
crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting
to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you're so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC?
I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve...
Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker,
who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<bitchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them
provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you're afraid
<bitchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking???
if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall
He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall.
I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest.
To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is.
I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.
quote:
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i
can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look
In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?
quote:
<bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
<Elch> that's bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter,
I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.
quote:
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures!
I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....
Or isn't it happening on my computer?
quote:
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient
disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this?
I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him.
He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.
quote:
<bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent
Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?
quote:
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "bitchchecker".
We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.
from bash.org
1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
from F-secure
I just click OK to make the box go away
I eat Bagel.A's for breakfast
Real men don't use AntiVirus
Data safety enhanced by Super-Stabletechnology
The future starts tomorrow
Malware free zone
One ring to rule them all... Ring 0
Just click "OK"
That is a problem and we are working on it
Do not interrupt me
How in the heck do they know that I need viagra?
Do a lap dance for my laptop
This is not the wireless access point you are looking for
I lost my password, can you tell me yours?
SQL injections suck ' OR 1=1
4 8 15 16 23 42
I won the UK lottery and the President of a Nigerian bank wants to send me millions?? Wow!!!
Passworded, firewalled, locked and lost
This zombie machine for rent
Use this computer like it was your own toy
Your RF is showing
Submit your Credit Card # and CW # to win fabulous prizes
Gone phishing, back later... as you
My other laptop... caught on fire
Congratulations! You used to be virus free
SELECT * FROM management WHERE clue > 0
My other laptop's a honeypot
Ain't no place like $home
My other computer is your windows box
All my money went to Nigeria and all I got was this lousy sticker
My botnet can beat up your botnet
Password is on a Post-it note on the display
I'll e-mail you the e-mail repair instructions
Gone phishing
So Long, and Thanks for all the Phish
We know about your Cialis problem
Where is this Kernel-land? Is it close to Lapland?
Viruses? I never get vir"#¤%1!!!
Trojan - isn't that somewhere in Turkey?
< script>alert('XSS does not exist');< /script >
last updated 2 years ago
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